SPLURTS!
by KUG
Summary: Just a bunch of random ideas that pop into my head. Please read them and tell me what you think!


**A/N: Okay, this splurt is just because I(and my friend, not Rowan Renee) both hate Alyss to the end of the earth!(I think I'm just jealous of Alyss because she gets Will) So those of you who hate her, enjoy!**

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><p>Alyss was sitting calmly in her room in Castle Redmont. Will had just left from visiting her and the sky was littered with stars outside her window.<p>

Alyss got up from her chair, yawning in that overly annoying graceful way with her hand flapping in an annoying way at her mouth.

She walked to her bedroom and started to get ready to sleep.

Suddenly something knocked at the window. She whirled around(annoyingly graceful), her dagger poised to strike. She walked to the window and flung it open.

Alyss screamed as something the size of a human shot through past her.

Feathers brushed her face.

The thing hissed like a cat.

Alyss whirled around again to face the thing.

And gasped.

A tall girl wearing a green shirt and jeans was standing in the middle of her room, smiling calmly as brown and silver-flecked wings folded behind her back. A glimmer of excitement sparked in the girl's blue-gray eyes, a long, white, brown-tipped tail whisked around her feet and brown-tipped ears pricked with delight.

"Hello Alyss." purred the girl.

"Who-what-are you?" Alyss gasped.

"Why, Alyss _dear_! I thought you'd know!" Her eyes narrowed as Alyss merely gaped. "Idiot!" spat the girl, revealing four razor sharp canines. "I'm the FanFic author! Crazy Cupcake Queen, Fuego Azule, Mad Taco is crazy, The Heart's Tear! Whatever you'd like to call me." Her eyes flickered with a dangerous light. "Though I usually like KitKat."

Alyss gasped and fell to her knees. "Oh no!" she wailed. "Please don't hurt me! What have I ever done to you?"

KitKat studied her neatly trimmed nails. "Lots." she stated simply.

"Lots of what?" whimpered Alyss.

"Of stuff." KitKat laughed abruptly. "That's my favorite word! Stuff!" Her ears flattened. "But anyway, 1: You've taken Will from many girls all over the place and I want him! Even though I have Max." she added in a mutter. "2: You are annoyingly graceful and so full of yourself! 3: You didn't even like Will until he became a hero!" KitKat tilted her head. "I could go on until the sun rises, but I have so many realms to visit and comfort my characters." She sighed. "So I'll stop at 3."

"But," whined Alyss. "John Flanagan owns me! I'm his creation! How come you're here to torture me? It's his realm and you have no right to trespass!"

"Has that stopped the other FanFic authors from intruding on his realm?" retorted KitKat coolly. "The Great Authors don't really care. It's harmless meddling."

"But I don't remember them!" Alyss said.

"Of course not! That's because they all belong to the Other Dimensions. There's thousands of them actually. Dimensions, I mean. Like you would have no idea what I do to Will-and you-in my other FanFictions."

Alyss gaped.

KitKat sighed. "You don't even understand the vastness of the realms I have created." Her eyes glowed with distant thoughts. "Amaroque, Taman, Max, Ryan." she whispered, affection in her distant eyes as she spoke of the male characters. "All of them!" She snapped out of her daze. "Anyway." she growled. "I've wasted my time enough! I'm here on important business."

KitKat raised her hand. A long sword appeared in her hand. The blade was long, slender, and shining with unearthly black light. The hilt was black with little brown peanuts and jars of peanut butter on it.

"The Peanut Butter Sword." KitKat yowled exultantly.

Alyss shrieked with terror as the sword started moving.

But KitKat wasn't hurting her.

The sword whistled through the air. A trail of glowing green light was left in its wake.

Alyss stared as mystic words appeared in the air.

No, wait. It was just backwards writing. Alyss couldn't read them from where she was sitting.

Suddenly, in a flash of green light, several people appeared. There was a tall girl with neon green hair and silver eyes who had a white trident in her hand, a boy(very hot) with flaming blood-red hair and dark silvery-blue eyes holding a yellow gun, and white cat walking upright like a human(same height as a human too) with brown ears, paws and tail-tip, green eyes and snowy-white wings. In the cat's hand was a purple whip.

"Meet Kiwi, Max and Starshine, my Pure Half." KitKat smiled smugly. "They are here to bring you your death!"

Kiwi stepped forwards. "The Trident of Eggs!"

Max blinked his beautiful silver-blue eyes. "The Lemonade Gun!"

Starshine laughed in perfect imitation of KitKat. "The Grape Jelly Whip!" she said, hauntingly like her Pure Half.

KitKat smiled murderously and gestured with he sword. "Bring out her Pure Half!" she cried.

A swirling purple portal opened and two(very hot) guys with identical black hair and glowing red eyes stepped out. Between them stood a haughty yellow-gray cat wearing designer jeans and shirt and too much makeup.

"Free me at once!" she snapped.

"Hardly likely, you priggish brat!" snarled the guy on the left.

"Duh no!" growled the one on the right.

"Enough!" sad KitKat coolly. She nodded to the one on the left. "Amaroque."

The man shoved Alyss's Pure Half, making her stumble and fall to her knees.

"Rise now Getthat." commanded KitKat.

Getthat got to her knees with a snarl. "Don't ever use my name!"

The other man, Taman, slapped her.

"Enough!" snapped KitKat. She gestured to Kiwi, Max and Starshine. "Finish her."

Kiwi howled like a wolf with pleasure. Starshine and KitKat joined in. Amaroque, Taman and Max gave eagle cries.

Then Kiwi lunged forwards with the Trident of Eggs. Max fired the Lemonade Gun. Starshine lashed out with the Grape Jelly Whip.

Getthat screamed as the trident stabbed her gut, a ray of lemonade hit her face, and the whip wrapped around her neck.

She disappeared with a puff of white smoke.

Alyss gasped.

KitKat snapped her fingers and everything disappeared. Including the Peanut Butter Sword.

Alyss was left alone with the FanFic author.

"And now it's your turn!" screamed KitKat suddenly.

She lunged forwards, hands outstretched.

Her fingers closed around Alyss's neck.

Then she quickly throttled the life out of the annoying, Will-snatching, stupid courier.

KitKat flew away into the night, leaving behind Alyss's limp body behind.

"It's time for my FacFic to end!" she cried. "I hope Will enjoys life without his girlfriend!"

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><p><strong>So, do all the Alyss haters(and those that enjoy randomness) like it? Review to say what you think!<strong>


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